A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting | 
enlarge | Author: Hara Estroff Marano Publisher: Broadway Category: Book
List Price: $23.95 Buy New: $14.65 You Save: $9.30 (39%)
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Avg. Customer Rating: 8 reviews Sales Rank: 12187
Media: Hardcover Number Of Items: 1 Pages: 320 Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.2 Dimensions (in): 9.4 x 6 x 1.4
ISBN: 0767924037 Dewey Decimal Number: 306.874 EAN: 9780767924030 ASIN: 0767924037
Publication Date: April 15, 2008 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Shipping: International shipping available Condition: Brand new item. Over 3.5 million customers served. Order now. Selling online since 1995. Order with confidence. Code: B20080704211911T
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Product Description
Wake up, America: We’re raising a nation of wimps.
Hara Marano, editor-at-large and the former editor-in-chief of Psychology Today, has been watching a disturbing trend: kids are growing up to be wimps. They can’t make their own decisions, cope with anxiety, or handle difficult emotions without going off the deep end. Teens lack leadership skills. College students engage in deadly binge drinking. Graduates can’t even negotiate their own salaries without bringing mom or dad in for a consult. Why? Because hothouse parents raise teacup children—brittle and breakable, instead of strong and resilient. This crisis threatens to destroy the fabric of our society, to undermine both our democracy and economy. Without future leaders or daring innovators, where will we go? So what can be done? kids would play in the street until their mothers hailed them for supper, and unless a child was called into the principal’s office, parents and teachers met only at organized conferences. Nowadays, parents are involved in every aspect of their children’s lives—even going so far as using technology to monitor what their kids eat for lunch at school and accompanying their grown children on job interviews. What is going on?
Hothouse parenting has hit the mainstream—with disastrous effects. Parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the lumps and bumps out of life for their children, but the net effect of parental hyperconcern and scrutiny is to make kids more fragile. When the real world isn’t the discomfort-free zone kids are accustomed to, they break down in myriad ways. Why is it that those who want only the best for their kids wind up bringing out the worst in them? There is a mental health crisis on college campuses these days, with alarming numbers of students engaging in self-destructive behaviors like binge drinking and cutting or disconnecting through depression.
A Nation of Wimps is the first book to connect the dots between overparenting and the social crisis of the young. Psychology expert Hara Marano reveals how parental overinvolvement hinders a child’s development socially, emotionally, and neurologically. Children become overreactive to stress because they were never free to discover what makes them happy in the first place.
Through countless hours of painstaking research and interviews, Hara Marano focuses on the whys and how of this crisis and then turns to what we can do about it in this thought-provoking and groundbreaking book.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 3 more reviews...
A welcome antidote to over-parenting July 5, 2008 This book makes some great points. We need to trust that our kids have the inner resources to find their own success. Nurturing and guidance are needed, not smothering control. I hope this book will help reverse the insane trends I see happening in our communities and schools.
Too many generalizations make this an eye roller July 3, 2008 2 out of 3 found this review helpful
I am surprised that the 6 reviewers gave this book either 4 or a 5 stars. I couldn't finish Chapter 4. I give her 2 stars because she tries to address a thought provoking topic, but the book is prone to extreme generalizations and speculation based on the few chapters that I read. For example "...home schooling deprives children of any chance to breathe, of opportunities to discover themselves on their own and to escape from parental vigilance, parental bias, or parental ignorance." I don't home school my kids, but this statement is laughable.
As for the online website that allows parents to "keep an obsessive eye on their kids throughout the school day.." and "..spend hours `zangling' their kids and comparing the results..", this is another example of extreme generalization. Our school system uses this Web site and there isn't enough information on it to spend hours `zangling'. What the author didn't mention is that the kids can logon with their own password and see their grades, what they ate, etc. My 12 year old was checking her grades one time and she noticed that she had zeros on some assignments that she was sure she had turned in awhile ago. So what did she do--she talked to the teacher and found out that the teacher had not uploaded all the scores yet. I was proud of her for talking to the teacher on her own (I surely wasn't going to do it for her). As for the Conclusion section which gives tips on what parents can do, this section is only informative if this is the only book you ever read on parenting.
"Parental Vampirism" June 23, 2008 9 out of 10 found this review helpful
Hara Marano is eerily precise in pinpointing a species of overcontrolling parent everywhere evident today, a sort of triumphalist sire before the advancement of whose own child, even if undeserved, all other persons and institutions are to bow. Should a teacher, a coach, or a human resources interviewer fail to kowtow to "Brittany" or "Gideon," he will discover that nowadays hell hath no fury like a controlling parent scorned. Marano argues that such "helicopter" parents in effect are a species of vampire, living vicariously through blood-sucking their own "trophy" children.
If Marano's work has a flaw, I should say it's an inclination to be more knowing about human motives than her amassed evidence alone would support. Parents of the sort she worries about may be inspired, that is, for reasons other than the one she suggests. Such pushy types appear with striking similarity, for instance, in Joseph Epstein's recent, mercilessly witty essay "Kindergarchy: Every child a dauphin or dauphine." But Epstein attributes such overparenting to a sort of new religion of "the child" in which parents extract some meaning out of life through the willful construction of prisons in which they are the eager indentured servants. In any event, though, the flaw is a small one when taken in conjunction with the detailing of a ubiquitous, current character type Marano presents for our consideration and alarm.
Hara Estroff Marano prescribes a liberal dose of common sense in her new book. June 10, 2008 6 out of 7 found this review helpful
The first time I had an inkling that something was amiss was about 8 years ago when I noticed that a young employee of mine was constantly washing his hands with some kind of clear gel. At that point I had never seen or heard of anti-bacterials but this 20 year old young man seemed obsessed with washing his hands multiple times a day. Likewise, I have observed in recent years that children simply don't seem to play outside much anymore. When was the last time you spotted a group of kids playing tag or even a simple game of catch? When children do play it seems it always has to be very structured and organized with lots of adults around to supervise. Hara Estroff Marano is an award-winning writer and editor-at-large for "Psychology Today". She has observed these phenomenon and a whole host of other troubling behaviors in both our young people and their parents that according to her are making us "A Nation of Wimps". This is a must read for parents, grandparents, educators and anyone else interested in the future of our kids. Throughout the pages of "A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting" Hara Estroff Marano points to any number of disturbing trends that she attributes to overparenting. Marano laments that the value of "play" for our younger children has been largely trivialized and replaced by more structured achievement oriented activities. I was quite surprised and distressed to learn that in many kindergardens and elementary schools around the nation recess has been completely eliminated! What is going on here? And as these children get older, Marano found that many parents are stoking the fires of fear among their offspring overstating the dangers of everything from germs to pedophiles. As a result, these children become extremely risk averse and find it more difficult to make friends, foster relationships with other adults and make decisions. In addition, as these children move into their teens and early 20's they are much more prone to any number of maladies including depression and anorexia nervosa. Marano also points to a multitude of examples of anxious parents intervening on behalf of their kids. And then there is the web-based service known as Zangle. Check it out. It seems that some parents will stop at nothing to monitor and manage their childrens activities. Very sad! These parents may mean well but their determination to ensure that their children do not encounter failure or setbacks or pain of any kind only serves to stifle the emotional growth of these youngsters. As a result, many are left totally unprepared to deal with the challenges and complexities of adult life. Marano goes on to describe some of the consequences of the way we have been raising our kids. Employers complain that an increasingly large percentage of young people are unable to engage in critical thinking and lack problem solving skills. Meanwhile, many of these kids are totally lacking in leadership skills and have an extremely tough time making decisions and forging meaningful relationships. "A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting" is must reading for every parent. In the final chapter of the book Hara Estroff Marano offers a dozen practical suggestions for parents who are interested in avoiding many of the mistakes that parents seem to have been making in recent years. In the end some might diagree with her approach but the ideas contained within this book are well worth considering. As far as I am concerned Marano has identified some serious issues and most of her solutions make perfect sense to me. Highly recommended!
An important book for our times May 19, 2008 5 out of 5 found this review helpful
Like Hara Marano, I am concerned about children's growing loss of freedom. Children generally have less opportunity to play and solve their own problems today than they did when my son was a child and much less than they did when I was a child. In this book, with many examples, Marano supports the thesis that the over-control of children may be leading to a generation of young adults who have difficulty making decisions and controlling their own lives. We should also be concerned about the high rates of depression and ADHD that may result from the lack of free play. Marano's book is a wonderful addition to a growing national debate. The chapter about the Sudbury Valley School, where children make their own choices all day long, is especially fascinating. I have long been an observer of that school and it is good to see the word get out about its success.
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