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Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships | 
 enlarge | Authors: Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, Paul Meier
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Category: Book
List Price: $14.99
Buy New: $6.49
You Save: $8.50 (57%)
New (38) Used (18) from $5.98
Avg. Customer Rating:  7 reviews
Sales Rank: 16183
Media: Paperback
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 288
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.8
ISBN: 0785263756
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.86
UPC: 020049024362
EAN: 9780785263753
ASIN: 0785263756
Publication Date: February 4, 2003
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: Expedited shipping available
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: Brand new . All shipping destinations, fast delivery.
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Product Description
These bestselling doctors walk you through their ten proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circustances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused. God wants us to have healthy relationships with a balance between being dependent and independent. The doctors describe how the most effective means of overcoming codependent relationships is to establish or deepen a relationship with Christ Himself. They describe the causes of codependency, pointing out the factors that perpetuate it, and lead readers through their ten stages of recovery.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 2 more reviews...
Excellent book! June 21, 2008
Without a doubt, one of the most detailed and researched books about many of the aspects of love and relationships, and why we are the way we are about them. I would recommend this to anyone looking to truly enrich their lives!!
Excellent May 9, 2008
Excellent self help book. Hard to read the reality of what the doctors are saying. It does get worse before it gets better. I learned so very much from this book and have had it passed on to me. I hope to pass it on to others.
Insights to heal November 5, 2007
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
This book surprised me. It fell into my hands with perfect timing in midlife.
While I am not as deeply affected in many areas "lost childhood", "abuse" etc. there are many concepts that were most helpful. I identified with "passive abuse" through emotional absence of my parents and the fact that I measure others' childhood by my own as the "norm" because it's all I know. Also tremendously helpful is the concept of "repetition compulsion" where I am 'driven' to recreate as an adult the home I grew up in - in everything from taste in decor to relational patterns with my wife and children. Despite the quality of lack of it in some areas of the home I gerw up in, it was nonetheless the place I found what security I could. I want that security again. I have been searching for "home" for many years and now I know why.
Other helpful chapters were "The Snowball Effect of Addiction", "Anger" and "Codependent or Healthy Relationships" as well as "Codependent or Interdependent Relationships." We think codependency is something extreme but it is a matter of degree really. We all are somewhat codependent and is at the very least evident in the degree of emotion with which we respond to others. Also "The Roles People Play" in which I could recognize all my siblings at different times in one or more patterns behaving in response to our pain (hero, scapegoat, mascot, lost child, placater, rescuer, martyr etc.)
Finally key chapters were "The Stages of Recovery", "Leaving Home and Saying Goodbye," "Seeing Yourself in a New Light," "New Experiences and Reparenting."
I have recently bought the companion workbook I intend to work through.
I have also begun discussing a few concepts with my siblings and finding some reception and agreement.
Another book that's just as helpful is "Kids Who Carry Our Pain" by Hemfelt and Warren.
Rev. Fuzzy Lake January 11, 2007
5 out of 6 found this review helpful
This is a must read for individuals with codependant issues. It is written from a biblical perspective by three Drs. Is uses scripture all the way through it. It is very easy reading and very simple to understand. The very best book on codependancy I have ever read. I use it to counsel people.
Very helpful without being preachy December 28, 2005
10 out of 10 found this review helpful
I found the information in this book very helpful. It is easy to read and understand. It is encouraging. It provides insight into what's going on when you're trying to cast off old ways of living that hold you back.
This book is worth reading, not only for the information to help you grow personally, but to be more aware and understanding of others in your life.
Although the authors may be religious, this does not come across heavily in the book and would not complicate a non-religious person using the information and insights to change things they don't like.
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