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Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ | 
 enlarge | Author: Daniel Goleman
Publisher: Bantam
Category: Book
List Price: $28.00
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Avg. Customer Rating:  188 reviews
Sales Rank: 53906
Media: Hardcover
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 368
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.3
Dimensions (in): 9.5 x 6.5 x 1.2
ISBN: 055309503X
Dewey Decimal Number: 152.4
EAN: 9780553095036
ASIN: 055309503X
Publication Date: September 1, 1995
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Amazon.com Review
The Western cultures esteem analytical skills measured by IQ tests: but there is clearly more to success and happiness, even in technological societies, than IQ alone. Goleman has written one of the best books on the nature and importance of other kinds of intelligence besides our perhaps overly beloved IQ. Recommended.
Product Description
Everyone knows that high IQ is no guarantee of success, happiness, or virtue, but until the discoveries of modern brain researchers, theorists could only guess why. Daniel Goleman's fascinating report from the frontiers of psychology and neuroscience offers us startling new insight into our "two minds" -- the rational and the emotional -- and how they together shape our destiny. Beginning deep in the brain, Emotional Intelligence shows us the exact mechanism of an "emotional hijack," when passion overcomes reason. Through vivid examples, Goleman then delineates the crucial skills of emotional intelligence, and shows how they determine our success in relationships and work, and even our physical well-being. What emerges is a crucial new way to talk about being smart. The final chapters reveal the possibilities -- and limits -- of "emotional literary," as it is taught by both parents and educators. The book concludes with a compelling vision of what true emotional intelligence means for us both as individuals and as a society. The message of this eye-opening book is one we must take to heart: the true "bell curve" for a democracy must measure emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman offers a new vision of excellence and a vital new curriculum for life that can change the future for us and our children.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 183 more reviews...
 Good primer on emotional intelligence, but... October 10, 2008
It's hard to summarize this book better than fellow Amazonian P. Lozar "plozar" when she says: "the overriding theme here seems to me to be ridiculously simple: good nurturing (rather than aptitude) is more likely to produce exceptional humans; bad nurturing creates people with a bunch of problems".
This timely book is very helpful for us "emotionally illiterate", but I find the tone too forced on optimism, "you can do it!" attitude, and maybe a certain condescension masked in a violently politically correct discourse...
At times I have the impression of reading a diplomat, seller or a politician's speech rather than a real teacher or researcher...
The problem with this "sanitized" versions of feeling is that they speak about hard issues like, for instance, rapists and domestic violence with a nonchalant detachment that it ends up insulting the very victims he seems to have dedicated his life to help. This "Astronaut's view" may help for contentious topics in, say, contemporary history. But for all his talk about "a new psychology" to be taught in all schools, I feel he should have put, well, more emotion into his book.
My favorite parts are his dealings with psychopathy "life without empathy" (ch. 7) and depression, under "managing melancholy" on chapter 6 and on page 177 onwards (ch.11). I only wish I had read this 10 years ago ... Same goes for the experiment run by John Gottman with couples measuring up their reactions when angered on chapter 9, finally giving me the scientific grounding for the empirically tested truth that "you have to get out of the argument" for at least 20 minutes if you want to solve the matter rationally. This also applies to family arguments as well :).
I also found useful "The artful critique" on chapter 10 (dealing with EI on the workplace) and "the rudiments of social intelligence" on chapter 8, "Social arts". The fact that Goleman devoted 5 chapters to different applications to virtually all the important fields of life is one of the many "redeeming qualities" of the book. I've the impression he likes the applications to medicine that to management (at least, he uses more than the double of quotations, for about the same length of chapter).
His style is engaging, a bit "American. i.e.: usually stars each chapter with a lengthy example, and includes personal anecdotes. The one of how fear blocked all reasoning on a Calculus exam (p. 78) is my favorite, and probably any reader will know some "math phobic" who experienced something similar :). Goleman is righteously self assured. Only a "big shot" could quote seemingly great authors by the conversations he had, "as Gardner (Harvard) told me", "Sternberg (Yale) said to me", etc.
But I miss the enthusiasm and spontaneity of his earlier books, like the virtually unknown "What psychology knows that everyone should" and his previous bestseller: "Vital lies, simple truths". I felt I was reading a budding genius of psychology, brimming with enthusiasm.
Daniel is very good at synthesis, like on page 241, one author per paragraph. Having read Seligman, I feel he just chose the best paragraph. The same goes for PTSD on chapter 13.
His style is rather repetitive. I feel he's said "no matter how bad you are, you can always learn how to be better" in every chapter. And his endorsement of particular schools is almost appalling. Besides, I'm not very sure the kind of "social intelligence" he extols is really good. If I had a child like "Roger" on chapter 8 who fakes being hurt to befriend somebody, I'd fear I'd raised a "social chameleon" as he very well describes on the same chapter :).
He is a very good writer, as witness his funny description of the absurdity of the routine medical test with the unemphatic doctor while he was worrying about him having cancer on page 181 or the already mentioned flunk at Calculus at college. We know he can write well and to the point, not loosing rigor at all by being frank and personal.
The physiology in the book is didactically explained and appears mostly on chapter 3 and appendix C, so it's hard to understand how a reader complained it's hard to read (I lack any knowledge of Biology).
Summing up, I have recommended this book to a bunch of friends, but the ones that really need to read it have been put off by the wishy-washy style. I'd have it rewritten by an angry young French philosopher, that would make it funnier :)!
A good and informative read, but somewhat biased September 7, 2008
In regard to psychological analysis and social implications of emotional IQ, I haven't much to add compared to other reviewers on the details of the theories presented in this book. Nevertheless, the overall idea that I received regarding the concept of an emotional IQ is the underlying belief that while a person cannot help but feel emotions, they can choose how to express them. There is an explanation in the text that explains that the development of the neocortex of the brain in humans allows them to overrule fear and other emotional instincts in order to fight against an automatic fight or flight response. I suppose an extension of this would be man's ability to use reason and logic ought to be able to overrule emotional impulse, so simply training one's self (or having someone teach an individual) to do so would increase their emotional IQ. In theory and practice, this seems to be a pretty good idea.
However, there is a slight problem with the opinion of the author creeping in the text that seems to contradict his own methodology. In several anecdotal instances he claims that possession of firearms causes violent emotional impulses by themselves - supposedly that simply by existing they are some kind of mystic totem that causes suspension of reason. In the conclusion he also uses the (now debunked) CDC "firearm epidemic" study that held the existence of firearms in a vacuum while shedding individual responsibility as a variable. Aside from making it very clear about Mr. Goleman's political stance on the matter of private ownership of firearms, the inclusion of his opinions in the text somewhat detracts from his overall message as it creates a "blind spot" of sorts in his methodology. I suppose though that perhaps this is his own personal way of illustrating emotional instinct overruling human reason? If so, then I perhaps it's a valuable lesson to the reader showing that even experts in their own field can benefit from a little introspection now and then.
 EQ IS IMPORTANT, TOO ! (sometimes even more important than IQ) April 30, 2008
12 out of 12 found this review helpful
Daniel Goleman's book Emotional Intelligence (1995) is a well written and researched study of the role emotions play in people's personal lives, and the effect that incompetent emotional management has on society. Goleman uses many individual examples to illustrate his point that emotional illiteracy (the inability to read emotions and respond appropriately) is both devastating and costly. Broken marriages, depression, domestic abuse, isolation, eating disorders, crime, alcoholism, and drug abuse are all in some way the end result of people's emotions gone awry. How can anyone possibly maintain a healthy outlook on life if their emotions are constantly getting the best of them? Goleman uses terms like:
Emotional flooding: When someone is overwhelmed by another's negativity and their own reaction to it. They become swamped with dreadful and out-of-control feelings. Their perception becomes negative and distorted. They find it hard to organize their thoughts and fall back on primitive reactions like striking back or running away.
Emotional hijacking: a neural takeover by a rush of emotions causing an outburst. "Blinded by rage", "a slave to passion", "scared to death", and "uncontrollable laughter" are examples of emotional hijackings. A person in this state loses their sense of reason, and emotions build on emotions causing a loss of control.
Misattunement: The misattuned person doesn't read his own or other's emotions effectively. They don't recognize or acknowledge their own feelings, and they're oblivious to other's emotional states. It's as if another person's feelings don't exist at all. We all know people like this. The lonely genius who only cares about others when they benefit or mentally challenge him. The aggressive smart aleck who thrives on making others feel uncomfortable. The distracted mother whose children have become unwanted responsibilities. The driven workaholic who denies himself and represses his emotions. The misattuned person doesn't make a lot of effort to get in touch with what others are feeling, and he just isn't much fun to be with. It is possible, however, for him to make adjustments to increase his EQ, improve his social skills, and get in touch with his own emotions through emotional relearning.
Empathy is the key to Emotional Intelligence. Knowing how others feel unlocks the doors to compassion, self-control, adept social skills, and to becoming a well-adjusted and happier person. Without empathy there is no real love, and life is lived purely for self-gratification. Empathy allows us to care for others and to live with a certain degree of morality.
Being in touch with our own emotions is also an important part of Emotional Intelligence. Understanding our own intentions and feelings helps us to focus on what's really important to us, keep expectations realistic, and prevent negative emotions from controlling our point of view and destroying our lives.
Even though Emotinal Intelligence isn't a self-help instructional manual, it certainly can be helpful to learn new strategies for self-control, getting to know yourself better, improving your relationships, becoming more successful, and learning to be a little more understanding of others. All of which make the world a better place.
Don't get too emotional... really. March 26, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Daniel Goleman strikes again with this interesting book about Emotional Intelligence. Ever wondered why Einstein could discover e=mc but couldn't organize his own family? This book has the answers for you.
Emotional intelligence is probably a very deciding factor in success. It is however by far more difficult to measure someone's EQ instead of IQ so you just have to trust the writings and go ahead with the knowledge. There's a lot being offered within the book and if you want to get ahead of the crowd there's even another book 'Emotional Intelligence in Action'.
The reason why I deducted one star is because something else is missing as well. There are certain people with average IQ and EQ who still excell at something because they are just 'streetwise'. Put that in the mix and you will have a very good understanding of what intelligence does.
Psych 101 anyone - Goleman Style? November 21, 2007
Very thought-out book. I believe the author may have posted new thought to B.S psychology. No real new discoveries except for his interpretations of the complexity of the human mind, some ideas I question.
I gave Mr. Goleman only one star due his lack of composition skills ... give this text to the commom layman would only produce boredom. His writing is riddled with technical jargon and complex analysis (some which have no scientific preface). I nearly fell asleep reading the book, myself. His writing style wins no awards for appeal, dynamic, or readability; otherwise, his idea and analysis are interpretations which really does not proof emotional human output - every human response differently to different situations in life.
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