|
But He Says He Loves Me: How to Avoid Being Trapped in a Manipulative Relationship | 
 enlarge | Author: Dina L. Mcmillan
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Category: Book
List Price: $14.95
Buy New: $8.15
You Save: $6.80 (45%)
New (26) Used (10) from $8.15
Avg. Customer Rating:  1 reviews
Sales Rank: 103247
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 180
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.3
Dimensions (in): 7.8 x 5.1 x 0.5
ISBN: 1741751969
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.8582
EAN: 9781741751963
ASIN: 1741751969
Publication Date: May 1, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: Brand New. Expected US delivery in 7-10 business days
|
| Similar Items:
|
| Editorial Reviews:
Product Description
Effective and powerful, this chilling exposure of the psychology behind emotionally abusive relationships proves to be an invaluable resource for women in the dating pool or those questioning their current partnership. Identifying the traits, traps, and manipulations that abusers employ, this authoritative guide aids readers in recognizing red flags early on, allowing them to get out early and avoid further ensnarement. Utilizing a dynamic new approach, the point-of-view splits providing a complete view of the situation—with the right-hand pages offering advice and tips to allow women to recognize destructive patterns, while the left-hand pages use the alarming voice of an abuser giving advice to other men on how to take control of a woman through lies, finance, accusations, choosing her friends, and more. Counselors, police officers, legal professionals, and concerned loved ones will also benefit from this crucial information.
|
| Customer Reviews:
overprotective? October 24, 2008
This book is a tutorial how to avoid forming a relationship in which you might end up being manipulated or abused and it provides all the necessary pre-diagnostic tools: it lists the early signs where any shadow of a doubt should be investigated closely.
The premise of this book is questionable. After reading it for a while, I have serious doubts this may be applied in reality. If you are to question and doubt everyone that gets closer to you and especially his or hers expression of love, admiration, attachment, bonding and interest, this will potentially prevent you from forming - any relationship whatsoever. You have to trust someone. In order to create intimacy, you need to open yourself, talk about yourself, your the past and be vulnerable as well. Unfortunately, vampires are out there to abuse exactly that. This book has not quite convinced me to wear garlic, although I really hope never to end up in a relationship with someone manipulative. I strongly believe we can all be victims. There is no specific "type" that would fall for them, therefore, there's little we can do before. But this book tries, for instance, to identify a potential victim: comes from conservative environment or different ethnical group, different social class, speaks different language etc. On the other hand, it may be a successful, beautiful self-confident woman, a real temptation to conqest. This description only made me wonder: who cannot be a victim? We can all find something in ourselves that can be misused and abused, we can all be put down for some reason or the other. I am sure, however, this book has been written with the best intentions.
It is also an amusing read, since it tries to include the manipulative partner's rationale. It assumes these people want to manipulate from the start and it's all part of "the big plan". I also seriously doubt that. If their rationale is like this, maybe it is on some uncouncious level. I think these people believe from the start their own fairy tales about perfection and obsession. When reality and partners fail to meet their standards, they turn ugly, using inappropriate social tools in abusive interraction with the others.
Reading this book I asked myself an important question: would I buy it for my daughter if I had one? Not likely (but this is as good as it gets). I wouldn't want her to be scared and doubtful of every person she meets and their actions and most certainly I would never want her to be involved in a manipulative relationship! There is this delicate balance we all need to learn in the culture, focused on pleasing any consumeristic passions instantly, the balance between forming relationships with a slow patient pace, taking time to consider each step carefully and tempation to go crazy - fast (for once?, just for a little while?).
There is a good use of this book. If you are in doubt about your early and evolving relationship and you are surprised about your parner's behaviour (he seems to be more and more obsessed with you and refuses to take slow steps in forming a mature relationship) when he/she adores you, but you feel he/she barely knows you - this is the book to read. If you have that kind of doubts and you are able to recognize them early, this book will just confirm what you already know. But who will read the book at the eraly stage of the relationship when it's all flattering? Someone is obsessed with you? You will most likely think everything is great and you finally got what you deserved in life and you will not run to buy some help book. Love always gives you a bit brighter view of the world. If we would be too rational in forming our relationships and wouldn't idealize our partners, our species would become soon extinct.
Due to the fact that manipulative relationships are probably almost impossible to prevent, I applaude the author for her courage.
|
|
|
Powered by Associate-O-Matic
| |
