Unconditional Parenting | 
 enlarge | Studio: CustomFlix
Category: DVD
List Price: $29.95
Buy New: $26.99
You Save: $2.96 (10%)
Avg. Customer Rating:  4 reviews
Sales Rank: 19071
Format: Ntsc
Language: English (Unknown)
Rating: Unrated
Number Of Items: 1
Running Time: 120
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.1
Dimensions (in): 7.3 x 5.3 x 0.6
UPC: 879724009008
EAN: 0879724009008
ASIN: B000BBAA3U
Release Date: July 13, 2006
Shipping: Eligible for Super Saver Shipping
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
|
| Similar Items:
|
| Editorial Reviews:
Product Description
Most advice for parents begins with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" -- and then proceeds to offer various techniques for controlling them. In his landmark book Unconditional Parenting -- and in this talk based on that book -- Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking "What are our long-term goals for our children?" It follows that we need to work with them, rather than doing things to them, in order to reach those goals.Kohn argues that punishments (including time-outs) and rewards (including positive reinforcement) may sometimes produce temporary compliance, but they do nothing to help kids grow into responsible, caring, ethical, happy people. Moreover, he suggests that permissiveness is less worrisome than a fear of permissiveness that leads us to overcontrol our children. Kohn concludes with ten important guidelines to help viewers reconnect to their own best instincts as parents. // Alfie Kohn is as well known for his lectures -- passionate, thought-provoking, and funny -- as he is for his writings. His knack for blending stories and studies has the effect of making complicated concepts easy to understand -- and controversial ideas impossible to dismiss.Kohn is the father of two children and the author of ten books, including Punished by Rewards, The Schools Our Children Deserve, and The Brighter Side of Human Nature. He has appeared twice on "Oprah" as well as on "Today" and various programs on NPR and CNN.
|
| Customer Reviews:
Share these insights with your family April 21, 2008
As a full-time mom, I take my day-to-day work very seriously. I welcome a thoughful challenge and appreciate the insights of Alfie Kohn and other progressive parent/child advocates. Alfie Kohn's latest book "Unconditional Parenting" has helped me reevaluate my child-rearing tactics and consider a more loving, respectful, and creative way of relating to my children. I've been putting the theories to work over the last two weeks and have noticed a positive change in my household. My two year old son shines when he offers his own suggestions for how to resolve conflicts, and I find that I am more patient and loving even when things are not going as smoothly as I would like.
The DVD version of the book made sharing Alfie's insights with my husband very easy. We had an uplifting discussion afterwards and he couldn't wait to put some of the skills to use the following morning. I especially appreciated how Alfie elaborated on the Ten Principles of Unconditional Parenting. Alfie is a very engaging speaker and did a fine job including the best points from the book.
Hits all the points home! September 17, 2007
8 out of 8 found this review helpful
After my husband I read read the book we decided to get the DVD to play for our family so they could see the parenting style we are using and WHY we have chosen it. The book is fabulous but the DVD really makes it all come together for us. Some of the points are better emphasized on the DVD and AK gets his main point across without taking too long. I would highly recommend this DVD to anyone wishing to expand their parenting knowledge.
Great to watch with your spouse or partner August 13, 2007
5 out of 5 found this review helpful
There are lots of review about how great this is and it is a truely wonderful book & DVD! I wish there were more DVD's like this since it is hard for me to sit down & read a book and when I do have time, my spouse does not and I try to translate which just isn't the same. I highly recommend this DVD.
Revolutionary and Thought-Provoking January 10, 2007
31 out of 33 found this review helpful
First of all, even if you're not 100% sold on Alfie Kohn's revolutionary (although it really shouldn't be) parenting and teaching ideas, this video is fantastic. Relative to most parenting videos and books, this one is full of fresh and provocative ideas that challenge and inform. Plus, my husband and I found ourselves laughing throughout the video, as Kohn manages to inject a lot of humor and entertaining points into his talks.
Substance-wise, this DVD lecture is something every parent should hear. Kohn uses reason and decades of psychological research to show how traditional methods of punishment and rewards (everything from the hickory stick to the sticker chart) may produce (in some kids) temporary compliance, but at a high cost in terms of long-term moral and emotional development, psychological intrinsic motivation, parent-child relationship, and on and on.
As the parent of two preschoolers, I have experienced very, very strong pressure from other adults to manipulate (and/or spank) my kids into submission and compliance. Frankly, as someone who's always been largely controlled by external rewards and punishments myself, I have found myself recently giving into others' control-oriented parenting systems and ignoring my own better judgement. After all, everyone was always telling me to, and my kids certainly are no model children, so I supposed I was wrong to try and "work with" my kids rather than just invoking my power to get them to do what we adults want them to do ("doing to" them). Some adults would argue that my kids wanted the "security" of knowing their "limits," and my compromising and working with them was actually causing them "anxiety"!
Kohn has lent a lot of support to my original mothering instincts--If I want my kids to have imagination, compassion, patience, initiative, planning ability and all those other good things IN THE LONG-TERM, I'd better parent to that end. (I can start by modeling those things as their mother in my relationship with them!) If I want SHORT-TERM compliance and to teach my kids to use power, force, praise, attention and other forms of manipulation to control others, then I can go ahead and keep parenting by everyone else's standards. I've already heard my 5-year old daughter repeatedly say things like, "Mommy, if you don't let me have the candy, I'm not going to play with you tonight." She tries to invoke the wee bit of power that she has as a very small and largely powerless child in order to get me to do what she wants. It's sad. Do we spend time together because we enjoy each other's company, or do we do it as a reward for compliance with our requests? The outside world may operate on a quid pro quo basis, but is that the level of relationship I want with my child?
Indeed, the more I reflect on Kohn's talk, the more I realize that our whole society operates almost exclusively on the principle that people need extrinsic punishments and rewards to get them to do what the powerful (i.e., those who set up those systems of rewards and punishments up) want. No one seems to truly care about how others feel on the inside, but only about how they act and look on the outside. The outside is how we measure success in almost every dimension of adult life: having wealth, beauty, prestige and well-behaved beautiful children attending Yale! Clearly, with our society's level of drug abuse, violence and so forth, this isn't working too well. Kohn doesn't address how society ought to treat its members, but his lessons and insights certainly raise some questions beyond how to get our kids ready for school on time.
|
|
|
