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 enlarge | Author: John Gray
Publisher: Harper
Category: Book
List Price: $24.95
Buy New: $9.94
You Save: $15.01 (60%)
New (37) Used (14) Collectible (2) from $9.94
Avg. Customer Rating:  17 reviews
Sales Rank: 18081
Media: Hardcover
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 272
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.2
Dimensions (in): 9.4 x 6.2 x 1.2
ISBN: 0061242969
Dewey Decimal Number: 155.9042
EAN: 9780061242960
ASIN: 0061242969
Publication Date: February 1, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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| Customer Reviews:
 Good info May 11, 2008
This is another in the line of good relationship books from Dr Gray. I saw him recently in Calif at a health seminar and he made his subject even more interesting seeing and hearing him in person.
I've read several of his prior books and of course the first, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, are still the bench mark others must reach.
 Reading it will feel like you have your very own counselor! April 28, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
John Gray has long been one of my favorite authors when it comes
to writing about relationships . . .from his MEN ARE FROM MARS,
WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS to his latest, WHY MARS & VENUS
COLLIDE, he continues to give
sound advice that can be applied in countless situations.
This latter book's subtitle tells you right away what you will
gain by reading it; i.e., you'll learn about IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS
BY UNDERSTANDING HOW MEN AND WOMEN COPE DIFFERENTLY
WITH STRESS.
Although some of the material has appeared in other material
written by Gray, I still found it worthwhile to be reminded that:
* Women admire a man who can stay cool and calm. Women are also
pleased when men fix things. Yet when a man offers his quick fixes
to her emotional accounts of the day, she interprets his efforts
as a dismissal of her feelings. She needs him simply to listen and
ask more questions. The more she feels heard and understood,
the better she is going to feel.
Moreover, women will find it equally beneficial to be reminded
about what men often need in a relationship:
* Likewise, when a woman minimizes her interruptions of a man's
focused activities, she helps him to keep his stress levels down.
Leaving a man alone and ignoring him is sometimes the best way
to support him. Understanding that these tendencies are based
on our brain differences frees us from taking things personally and reveals
practical ways to support our partners in coping better with their stresses.
I am continually amazed that the author has an uncanny ability to see
things from the perspective of both sexes . . . and others, including
women, have told me that he really knows his stuff . . . as for instance
when he observes:
* Needing a partner is not a weakness. It is why we partner up. Men and women
just have different primary needs. Men need to feel needed, and women need
to feel they are not alone. Just as a woman is happiest when she feels she is
getting what she needs from her partner, a man is happiest when he feels
successful in meeting his partner's needs. This is an important distinction. We
certainly need each other, but for different reasons.
Now if I can only remember to look back at this book from time to time,
if just to be reminded about all that I have forgotten . . . Chapter 8,
"How to Stop Fighting and Make Up," by itself makes WHY MARS
& VENUS COLLIDE a worthwhile purnchase and/or gift for anybody
involved in a relationship . . . that you get so much other great
advice is like having your very own counselor!
D. When I was a kid, I couldn't get enough of the game of baseball . . . I
watched games on TV and went to them, and I also read everything
about the subject that I could.
For some reason, I lost interest in it sometime around my teenage
years . . . maybe it was when my mother threw out my collection
of baseball cards (including one signed by Sandy Koufax!) or perhaps
it's when I discovered that girls were frankly more interesting, but
I also forgot many of my childhood memories . . . that is, until I came
across BASEBALL: A HISTORY OF AMERICAN'S FAVORITE GAME
by NEW YORK TIMES sports columnist George Vecsey.
What a joy it was to hear this book over the past several days as
I drove to and from work . . . it reminded me of the days when
I followed both the New York Yankees and Brooklyn Dodgers, but
it also gave me a mini-history lesson about the Black Sox 1919
scandal (and why it happened), along with an appreciation of
what it was like to have to play in the Negro Leagues.
I also liked hearing about how baseball became popular in the
United States . . . and learning that Abner Doubleday really had
little to do with the game's development.
It was fun hearing about Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson, but
equally interesting to learn about the role of such executives
as Branch Rickey and my personal favorite, Bill Veeck.
And I got a kick learning why Ricky Henderson had so many
doubles in his career . . . it seems he could have stretched many
of them into triples, but held off on doing so in order to then
be able to steal third (and add to his all-time steals record).
I don't know if BASEBALL will get me to return to the ballpark
anytime in the near future . . . yet I'd still recommend
the book to any fan--past, present or future.
My only criticism is that the book is a bit choppy . . . it goes back
and forth in history, whereas my preference would have been for
a straight chronological approach.
Explains Why Men don't want to "Talk about it". April 19, 2008
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
I found the book very helpful to my relationship. Helped me to realize my partner can't be "all things" to me. I must have close girlfriends for a lot of "feeliings" & "venting" conversations. Men just aren't into it. Helped me to understand why I constantly hear, "I don't want to talk about it!" Helped me to realize I don't need to talk about every disagreement or issue. Many things are just better left unsaid. Men want to "fix" everything. Women want to "discuss" everything. This was my personal experience with the book relating to my life. For $15. you can't go wrong!
Empowering April 7, 2008
8 out of 9 found this review helpful
"The real reason women are tired today is not because they have too much to do. It is because they are not producing enough oxytocin to cope with stress." ~ pg. 81
In "When Mars and Venus Collide," John Gray masterfully guides readers from a place of conflict to a place of peace. He gives the tools that are necessary to cultivate a harmonious relationship and also gives scientific proof to support his main arguments.
While this book seems to have been written mostly for women there is an amazing list of ideas for men who want to boost their partner's oxytocin (helps women deal with stress) levels. There is also a list for women who want to boost their oxytocin levels naturally.
Since the last place you want to be even more stressed is at home with your partner, John Gray shows you how to argue more effectively. Instead of avoiding problems there are ways to connect with your partner while you solve real-life issues.
As life becomes increasingly more stressful it is good to know that there is a way to balance your life through thoughtful actions and positive thoughts. John Gray has refined his message so you can feel the fluidity of his thoughts. At the end of the book, he also discusses lifestyle choices that are essential for health.
This book will encourage a reduction in stress in any Mars and Venus relationship. I can recommend this book to women who are trying to balance their work and home life and need to connect with their partner in a more meaningful way.
~The Rebecca Review
 Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress April 5, 2008
1 out of 3 found this review helpful
Purely as an observation rather than a criticism, I thought the writing style was slanted more towards mass publication rather than at a more 'clinical' level. And lets be frank, that's where the book is trageted. If taken literally and in isolation it could leave people rather misled but if balanced with other relationship publications it certainly can contribute towards a more comprehensive understanding of what goes on in a relationship.
Overall, I'd give it maybe a 7 out of 10 and while I wouldn't rate it as a 'must read' I certainly think it's worth browsing if you can pick it up on a special somewhere.
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